When I feel tense and frustrated, If my stomach is tied up in knots, I ask myself, " Is what I am doing to cope not working ? Is it making things better?" The answer is usually "No!". I am trying to fix the infixable.
When my controlling and care taking are not working, all I need to do is let go. as the tension and frustration flow out of me, I am free to focus on the things I can control.
The first thing is: What can I do to take care of myself? What do I want? More anguish or peace? The choice is obvious.
From: In This Moment, Daily Meditation Book.